Touch Only Myself
by xperfectBliss
Summary: Edward's still keeping his word about waiting until after marriage, even though he’s struggling to keep it together. Bella’s finding no way to relieve her problem, either.What do they have to do? Only Alice knows. Lemons. Slightly OOC.
1. Sex Deprived

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Touch Only Myself

If you like the story and want me to continue, PLEASEE review.

**_Summary: It's close to wedding night. Edward's still keeping his word about waiting until after marriage, even though he's struggling to keep it together. Bella's finding no way to relieve her problem, either. What do they have to do? Only Alice knows. Lemons, might be slightly OOC. Beginning of BD._**

Bursting through the door with the excitement they both dreaded, Alice skipped towards them with humor in her eyes.

"Now, I know that the wedding is next week, and after that you'll be well on your way to your honeymoon, but-"

Bella squeezed her eyes tight and clamped her hands over her ears.

Speaking a bit too loudly, she said, "Alice, we've been through this. We're fine. It's just one week, right?"

Alice furrowed her eyebrows together in a moment of concentration. She then easily took Bella's hands from her ears. Bella sighed theatrically and they glared at each other for a few moments.

"Alice," Edward cut in, breaking their staring contest, "I really don't think this is necessary-"

"This can be _easy_ for you, you know," Alice threatened. "Both of you should know by now that arguing with me _never_ works. Now listen to what I have to say."

They were both silent. Alice looked a little smug and continued.

"There are plenty of sex-deprived people. Probably even vampires. And you know how they get along, don't you?"

Bella stared at her in complete horror. Alice rolled her eyes.

"Yes, Bella," Alice answered in response to Bella's stare. "Masturbation."

Edward got up from the chair he was sitting in and nearly sprinted to the wall, bashing his head in. Bella lay down on the bed she had been sitting on and buried her face in the pillow. Neither said anything, and Alice waited impatiently, tapping her foot while the two continued to show no signs of emerging from what they were doing.

"Ugh," Alice groaned. She took Bella by the arms, pulling her away from the bed. Once she seemed able to stand properly, she yanked Edward away from the wall. She then pushed the two of them out the door, into the hallway.

"Go to Emmett's room, okay? He's going to help you," Alice shook her head in exasperation. If possible, they looked even more terrified than before. However, there was rarely a point in arguing with Alice. Slowly heading to his room, they were stopped by Alice.

"You probably want to knock first. You know…in case," she winked. Bella shivered at what she was implying.

They were resigned to the fact that they really had no power over Alice. Or Emmett, for that matter.

**I know, it's not much, if you'd review and tell me how it is, I'll continue it. If I really don't get any feedback, I'll probably just delete it and start something else. Sorry. Thanks :)**


	2. Emmett & The Basics

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Twilight, etc.

Neither of them wanted to knock.

Bella elbowed Edward in the side. He gave her an exasperated look and knocked quietly, as if he didn't want Emmett to hear at all.

They heard crashing noises of a labtop being slammed shut. Half a second later, Emmett appeared at the door.

"Hey, sex-crazed bro! Hey, Bella," he boomed, grinning evilly. This was going to be _fun_ for him. In other words, pure torture for them. He shuffled them into his messy room. They moved unwillingly.

"Now," he smirked, "I'm not sure how much you know about this, but I'm going to have to start with the basics. We'll start with Edward." He pointed to Edward's crotch.

"This is called…"

**BELLA POV**

_This isn't happening. This isn't happening. It's just a disgusting, terrible dream,_ I chanted repeatedly in my head. It was too horrific.

"Maybe this is worse than I thought," Emmett pondered. "If you don't even know that –"

"EMMETT!" I shrieked.

"You figured it out?" he looked incredulous. I couldn't even tell if it was acting or not. "Well, what is it?"

"Ugh, ugh, ugh! I _know_ what it's called – you just have to make me say it out loud, don't you?" I growled in frustration.

"Yup."

"It's called – his – manhood, okay?"

Emmett burst into loud laughter.

"You can't cut corners, Bella. I'll let that slide by this time," he shook his head.

I was going to kill Alice one day for this.

"But Edward isn't getting educated right now!" he announced. "It's his turn." He pointed to _my_ crotch. I felt the all-typical blush coming on. "Now, that is called a…"

Edward sealed his lips shut.

"Okay, so I can see this isn't going anywhere…now. That is called a vagina." He pointed to Edward's crotch again. I probably turned two shades redder. "And that is called a – Bella, care to help me out here?"

I shook my head vigorously. "Not a chance."

"Alrighty, then. That is called a penis. Should we measure it?"

"NO!" Edward and I shouted in unison.

"You know, I never knew if you or I was bigger. I still think we should measure it," Emmett decided.

Edward grinded his teeth. Probably wondering if it would be worth it to punch Emmett or not.

"We," Edward snapped, "Are _not_ going to be measuring it."

"Okay, okay. I was just curious," Emmett grinned. "Moving on. I think we're going to have to watch some videos on how to do it."

He opened his labtop.

* * *

**I'm sorry I couldn't write anymore. I was feeling really lazy today.**

**If you have any suggestions, please let me know. I was just thinking that as long as they don't really have sex, that's basically the point. It won't really matter if he fingers her or not. What are your opinions? Please review :)**


	3. Author's Note

**A/N**: I'm really sorry I haven't been updating - but school was pretty busy for the first two weeks. I'll try to update more often. I haven't really been in the mood to write this type of thing, I'll probably start a new story this weekend - something more romantic, fluffy-ish. :)


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